About a week

its been a week since my life changing decision... (haha, what a pretentious ass of a sentence) or more appropriately a week since I made a decision that changed my entire outlook on life.

I am a rock. I am an island.

It's working well so far, I can understand the philosophical ramifications of making such a choice and at this point in my life it doesnt bother me at all. Leslie is dead to me. Perhaps that is too strong a term but her thinking that she could predict and wrap me (the elemental cosmic chaos that is my hahahahaha pretentious self (warning that was a tongue in cheek sentence)) around her damn little finger and being so stunned that all wasnt going according to her plan proves what everyone that knows the two of us have been saying for years. She is a manipulative, heart breaking bitch. She can sucka the dangdang.

The saddest thing is at this point, I dont really care what she does though. So I went out drinking with Robin and we had so much fun that she had to drive me home. I am too analytical but that evening I was just out to have fun and be myself. I was perhaps a little to overindulgent methinks forsoothe!~ My head hurt the next day but I wasnt embarressed at all. I said only the truth and I was only me and it was r-e-a-l. I wasnt too much of an ass (that is said with the understanding that alcohol dulls the mind and my memory isnt too clear of that evening anyway) in the pushy way and as a matter of fact I refused the offer to sleep on her couch. She's a rock star and she has someone special in her life right now and she deserves it if anyone does.

Everyone deserves their own little slice of happiness.

So, from an analytical viewpoint, I can understand why I am slowly losing the friends of years and years and replacing them with more recent friends (who are amazing people) who share the same interests. I can understand it, but it still makes me sad when I dwell.

bleh.

thats it for now. I refuse to reread or spell check this post for fear that I will see it for the quasi intellectual pretentious shit spewing that I am sure it is, but nevertheless, I meant it at the time.

I miss my Theater fix.